Chapter 106: The Diary That Held Secrets

owed for a life taken... Ah Lu, Ah Lu, am I still unclear Am I right that I can never truly be free in this lifetime Can't even choose my own life and death... right!Alù, thank you for saving me.A-lu,...“Squeal~” a screech of brakes, the driver leaned out and shouted angrily: "Are you insane Want to die The Huangpu River is right in front of you!"

"Sorry, sorry..." Jian Tong hurriedly greeted him, feeling a little relieved that the driver had braked in time, only suffering some minor injuries.

Xiao Heng glared coldly at the driver: "Can you speak You hit someone and still have the right"

Xiao Heng was fierce, and the driver was a bit intimidated by him. He grumbled, "You couples should argue at home, not on the road. What's wrong with you" As he spoke, he drove away.

Although Xiao Heng's attitude was fierce, he also knew that the driver couldn't be blamed for this. He glanced at Jian Tong again. She didn't fall badly, but she definitely had some cuts and bruises.

He rushed toward Jian Tong, "Jian Tong, don't move, I'll take you to the hospital."

"Stay back!"

Jian Tong slumped onto the ground, her expression returning to a state of calmness.

In the midst of torrential rain, on the muddy ground, she tilted her head through the downpour, a rough voice slowly rising:

"Mr. Xiao, I don't need happiness. I don't need redemption. My life now is good. Please stop disturbing my life." And please don't just barge into my life anymore.

When everything is immersed in darkness, that ray of light is not salvation, but error and sin.

Xiao Heng's face flickered with emotion as he lowered his eyes to gaze upon the woman in the rain. Her clothes were muddied, and the downpour soaked her, leaving her hair plastered against her forehead. He ignored her completely, raising his foot to stride towards her.

Jian Tong's expression changed drastically: "Don't come any closer!" Her rough voice roared.

Refuse this man with actions, refuse him entering her world.

"Mr. Xiao, do you know who I am" Under the rain, she chuckled softly, the raindrops hiding the pain in her eyes, yet her smile was even more dazzling: "Mr. Xiao, are you rich If you're rich, you're the master. I only acknowledge money. Bring your money to Donghuang, and I won't disappoint you."

She said, "Mr. Xiao, I'm waiting for you at the Donghuang."

Xiao Heng stared in shock at the woman in the mud, struggling to her feet. In the rain, she hobbled away, her figure disappearing into the distance.

Her words still echoed in my ears: "Do you have money If you have money, you're the big boss. I only recognize money. Come to Dong Huang with your money and I won't disappoint you."

Qin Mumumu had told him that Jian Tong loved money and would do anything for it.

At that time, he neither admitted nor denied it, and understood Jian Tong's predicament.

But when he confessed his feelings to her today, when he offered his heart to this woman, he didn't expect that even then, she would choose money over him.

Xiao Heng didn't blame Jian Tong for loving money... After all, who in this world doesn't love money

However, there is a sense of disappointment with Jian Tong's choice today.

Before her lay two things: one was the affection Xiao Heng had felt for years, a feeling he'd decided to take seriously for the first time, and the other was vulgar wealth... But this woman seemed to love money more.

Xiao Heng stood there, until he could no longer see Jian Tong's figure in the distance. He was suddenly startled and wanted to chase after her, but she had disappeared.

Patted himself on the head: "Thinking too much... If this woman really loves money, she should hold onto it herself, right"

Instead of pushing him out, hold onto him tight. Isn't that right Holding onto the money is important, isn't it

Then Xiao Heng became puzzled again… Why Was it because he was surnamed Shen

The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became. A confident smile appeared on Xiao Heng's face: "Shen, Jian Tong will eventually accept me."

……

Jane hurried back to her dormitory. As soon as she entered the room, she immediately shut the door, as if a ferocious beast was chasing her.

Her clothes were torn when she fell during the wrestling match, luckily the driver slammed on the brakes in time. Luckily she was wearing long sleeves and pants, so she didn't get seriously injured, only a scrape on her palm, nothing major.

Having treated the wound on his palm early, he picked up his phone, hesitated for a moment, and dialed Su Meng: “I… want to take a day off today.”

Su Meng was startled and took her phone away to glance at the screen, confirming that it was Jian Tong who had called. She was still a little surprised: "Little Tong, what happened"

"...No, I'm a little tired and want to rest for a day."

Su Meng let out a "hmm" and felt a little comforted. "Alright," she agreed readily, "You finally know how to rest. Okay, take good rest today, you don't have to worry about things here."

Hung up the phone.

Jian Tong got up and walked to the small wooden table by the bedroom window. She slowly sat down and pulled open a drawer, taking out a notebook from inside.

After her release from prison, she had no hobbies or leisure activities. This notebook became her only pastime, accompanying her through the monotonous life after her incarceration.

It had been a long time since she last wrote in her diary. The most recent entry read: After three years apart, I saw him again.

There was no extra description, no emotional portrayal, just a statement of the fact.

Opening the notebook, where a ballpoint pen rested inside, Jian Tong picked it up and slowly wrote:

Xiao Heng suddenly appeared, he asked me again, would I be willing to be his girlfriend.

I always thought that the first inquiry was just a whim, a sudden thought from this young boy.

Later, I never saw him again.

But today he appeared before me again, asking me the same question.

I'd like to take that as a joke.

But Xiao Heng wasn't. I saw the seriousness, the persistence in his eyes.

He said he was serious, and his eyes told me he wasn't lying.

He said you don't need to try hard to get close to me, he'll come closer to you. He said he would make me happy and wouldn't let me cry.

Happiness... Who wouldn't want it

For a moment, I was moved, otherwise, I don't think I would have suddenly asked him: What does Jian Tong look like in your eyes ... If I hadn't had that sliver of feeling at the time, I wouldn't have asked this question. What moved me wasn't Xiao Heng himself, but the "happiness" he spoke of.

I want to see how different I am in his eyes compared to reality.

He said I was strong, brave, and fearless... That's not me.

I suppose I am selfish after all. I could brazenly reveal my own humiliation and wretchedness, showing him the most embarrassing side of myself. I could boldly tell him: No, I'm not the idealized image you have of me.

I can very well let him see me now: humble, weak, incompetent, cold… and selfish!

When I wanted to speak the truth, I saw the sincerity in this young man's eyes. His gaze was persistent, serious, resolute, and... focused.

At that moment, I had a selfish thought. I suddenly didn't want him to see my ugly appearance.

I know, I won't fall in love with him... because my heart, long dead, is like a pacemaker implanted, only able to beat mechanically, devoid of the capacity for love. Where could I possibly respond to a genuine affection

But there are very few people in this world now who are willing to look at me with sincerity and focus without any prejudice... I suddenly became afraid that such a gaze would turn into contempt and disdain, just like everyone else.

He also said: Give it a try, how do you know it won't be happy if you don't try

I just know—never happy!

As a person like me, burdened with the debt of lives taken, what right do I have to live in the sunshine and enjoy happiness

Use my life, that Ah Lu gave me, for happiness

Absurd!

But I hate my own filth even more!

Though I refused to admit it countless times, this is the fact —

I ran away... it wasn't just because I owed Alou and didn't dare to hope for happiness. I knew I was filthy, that in the end, I would still have to use a deceased person to escape Xiao Heng's feelings.

I think it's best if we don't contact each other anymore. He shouldn't appear in front of me again either.

So be it.

A life without ripples, a stagnant pond, is exactly what I need right now.

I can't stand the storms, I've saved enough money. When that person gets tired of all this, that's when I should leave.

Closing her laptop, the woman stood up and pushed open the window, letting the rain splatter intermittently inside.

The cold rain pierced through her bones. She shivered, pulling her arms close to her chest, but her mind was uncharacteristically clear.

She is very clear, now about what she's doing, very clear, about every single thing she's doing. "You think this video was taken by me Oh, I wouldn't be so bored."He gritted his teeth, yet he didn't know that this very statement was desperately trying to prove his innocence... But why did he car...